


i like you, and i like my chances (the margin for error is just a few millimetres)

by vandoorne



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 23:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20016382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vandoorne/pseuds/vandoorne
Summary: peter doesn't know when he starts chasing after tony. what he does know, however, is that he'll never be able to catch up.





	i like you, and i like my chances (the margin for error is just a few millimetres)

**Author's Note:**

> for some strange reason i thought it was necessary to write this dumb thing inspired by [真的傻 by 徐佳莹](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHNsuYHlMQM) orz

Peter Parker doesn't know when he had started chasing after Tony Stark. Maybe it had been in junior high, when he had decided that Tony was going to be his role model. He had written about Tony for an English essay, after all. No, maybe it had been when he had decided to pursue engineering seriously, and had started reading Tony's work closely. He's going to become like Tony, going to be a great inventor, going to make a name for himself in engineering and robotics. In any case, does it even really matter? Peter works his ass off, gets a scholarship for university, gets to shake the great Tony Stark's hand once and almost faints afterwards. Works his ass off for the rest of university again and lands the coveted Stark Internship.

Peter's chasing. He's running and running, but he can never seem to catch up. but it's okay, right? Who ever catches up to Tony Stark anyway?

_It's okay_ , Peter tells himself, watching as Tony and Pepper exchange their vows. _This is for the best_. He grits his teeth, repeating the thought over and over again as if it would will it into being.

Then again, what did Peter even expect anyway? _Just because you're a Stark Industries intern, just because you're smart enough for Mr Stark and Dr Banner to be interested in what you have to say doesn't mean that you're actually_ good _enough_. It's all strictly business. Professional. Just because Tony cares about Peter's growth as an intern, just because Tony _notices_ when Peter isn't feeling too well, just because Tony puts his hand on Peter's, guiding him through a particularly tricky joining process of a prototype? No it doesn't mean anything romantic. There's no other deeper meaning to it. Tony is Peter's mentor. Nothing more, nothing less.

All those nights spent with minimal sleep, working on the latest prototype for the Stark Industries quinjet, waking up to a steaming mug of coffee and Tony looking at him with a smile on his face. _You remind me of my younger days_ , Tony had said. _And?_ Peter had pressed, and Tony had only smiled, shaking his head and pushing the mug at him, asking him to drink. Nights when Tony had sent him home, in his Audi, not quite minding when Peter drifted off to sleep mid-conversation, lightly shaking Peter awake when they had gotten to his place in Queens. Peter had always apologised, especially when he had noticed the creases in Tony's suit, evidently where Peter had fallen asleep against, but Tony had never minded. Nights when Peter and Tony would be the only ones left, and Tony would invite Peter into his workshop, and Peter would pat DUM-E affectionately while watching tony tinker with his latest obsession. And Tony would always look at Peter with light in his eyes, asking him what he thinks.

_Well Mr Stark, I think whatever you do is just amazing._

But the words never make it out of Peter's mouth. And Peter knows, anyway. Had always known that Tony is someone he can never have. Everyone knows about Tony and Pepper, on and off again but mostly on. And Peter? Just another fresh graduate from Queens, a dime a dozen. Slim build, on the shorter side, mousey even, if someone was being mean. Never mind that Tony has had his fair share of lovers on different ends of the spectrum. Tony would never fancy someone like him, especially when the only thing Tony ever calls him is _kid_.

Thing is, love isn't an equivalent exchange. your efforts will not necessarily be rewarded, your feelings won't automatically mean that you are worthy of being cherished. And Peter keeps trying to tell himself that, that he cannot force things. He's not going to be the third party in Tony's relationship, not that he'd ever stand a chance anyway. But Peter is also young and foolish, and that means that he keeps trying, pushes himself night after night to work harder, to impress Tony even more. Maybe if Tony spends more time with him, his feelings will get through to him.

 _You've got to live a little, kid. What are you, twenty one? Don't let me be the big bad dragon who is keeping you locked up in Stark Tower away from the world. You're an_ intern _if you let me treat you like shit now, who knows what I'll get away with when you sign your papers with Natasha in HR._

Peter remembers looking up at Tony, and those treacherous words _honestly Mr Stark, I'd let you get away with anything_ had almost made its way out of his mouth. He had caught them in time, and he had ducked his head and laughed nervously, beating a hasty retreat.

The memories replay itself, over and over in Peter's mind as he watches Tony and Pepper toast their friends, cut the wedding cake. He barely touches his food, and he's grateful that he hardly knows anyone at his table.

'Kid! You made it!' Tony says, grinning.

'Mr Stark, Ms Potts,' the words are out of Peter's mouth before he can stop himself. 'Sorry, I mean, Mrs Stark.'

'It's okay,' Pepper says, smiling.

'I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world,' Peter says. And it's true and it hurts and his fingernails are digging into his palm as he wills himself not to cry. _What the fuck, come on Peter Parker, get a goddamn grip. Mr Stark_ deserves _happiness, and you don't deserve to ruin it._ 'Congratulations.'

'Thanks kid,' Tony says. His eyes are soft now, figure framed in the afternoon light. 'I'm glad you're here.'

'Me too,' Peter chokes out.

_Thank you for the wonderful memories you gave me. I'm glad you found someone who loves you more than I'll ever be able to._

'Are you sure about this?' Ned asks, brow furrowed as he reads over Peter's shoulder. 'Thought joining Stark Industries was your dream. Whatever happened? Is Tony Stark an asshole?'

'No!' Peter exclaims, jumping in his seat. 'Ned! Come on! You can't just barge in like that!'

'Aunt May let me in, and your door was open anyway,' Ned shrugs. 'The Stark Internship didn't go so well then, I take it?' he sounds disappointed, and Peter winces.

'It went well!' Peter says, turning around to face Ned, desperate to cover the letter he had been typing to turn down Tony's job offer. 'It's just that. I think maybe I should go somewhere else instead. Improve my skills. Get better before going back.'

Ned stares at Peter in disbelief, and Peter's cheeks colour. 'Are you kidding me-'

'How did _your_ internship go,' Peter says quickly, cutting Ned off, eager to change the subject. He heaves an inward sigh of relief as Ned flops down on his bed, chatting animatedly about his internship in Chicago.

_Don't worry about me, Mr Stark. I'm leaving because I know I'm simply not good enough. It's okay though. I don't think I'll ever be good enough anyway._


End file.
